06
Feb
10

Long Distance……Hearts

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                        My heart keeps beating ,  why are we waiting so long ? I’m so sure , it can’t be so wrong…!

                                  It would seem  that an affair with one’s laptop is quite common this day and age.

      I would often, see and stare in naive innocence , how people can spend their time , in front of these blinking                                                                        screens, and getting “Screen Burn”..!

          I saw  for the first time ,and  mistook her as a crazy woman who is having an affair with her laptop.  looking at her notebook with much adoration and admiration and sometimes I can see her hugging it and kissing the webcam. She can go all night chatting and conversing on the phone and exchanging sweet nothings in front of her laptop. And being the person that I am , I found it all so insane..I’d rather be outdoors , playing a sport , to keep me sane , I told myself………………..

             Placing on the  headset of her laptop and disappearing into oblivion. The truth of the matter is, she was is involved in a long distance love affair and the internet is one of their modes of communication. 

          Being in a long distance love relationship is not easy. You got to have what it takes to make it work. There are certain compromises that should be done and one of that is of course the lack of physical intimacy. Some people can withstand that test of time of long distance love relationship affair but some succumb to need of physical closeness.

            To those who are involved in long distance love here are some points to remember if you want to make it stronger and stable. One of course is communication. This is the lifeline of your relationship, so you better make it good. Your communication should be sustained, constant and consistent. You have to keep it positive and romantic. Never leave negative and open ended dilemmas that would make your partner worry or insecure. Like any other relationships, long distance love affair has its ups and downs. When this happens you have to exert more effort in your communication skills, be more open and lucid and practice effective listening skills. One problem in long distance love affairs is that aside from dealing with issues in your relationship, you have to deal with your own sense of self- security. You got to have that sense of self- confidence that you are doing the right, you need to have that confidence to be honest and true. In other words, you need to have that positive attitude- you need to have that trust and faith with each other. Being negative in a long distance love relationship can burden you and your partner and can eventually take its toll in your affair. Another thing to make your long distance love affair work is to be more imaginative and expressive in showing your care. This may include phone sex and/ or sending the classic love letters through snail mail or sending romantic packages like flowers and gifts. This can sometimes make you work extra hours because sending packages doesn’t come cheap but it’s going to be worth it. Be creative and inspiring in keeping your intimacy running. You also need to take care of yourself, to have a life and enjoy it. Being too contained and enclosed in your relationship can limit your mind, making your more jealous and possessive. So keep yourself busy and don’t be idle. And last but not the least; you have to make a commitment to yourself – to learn the virtue of patience and determination. If things get tough and when issues cloud your mind, go back to the basics- love, this is what matters. This should be enough to keep you holding on.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. 

          

  …………..It’ s strange , how life plays a trick on us ,  on me , it now made me think . Is love that important to survive  in this life ? Are we so mentally and physically dependent on having someone to hold and love ?  Isn’t there enough broken hearts in the street of broken dreams ? That we subject our hearts to unbearable pain and angst , but then try again , hoping that this time , we made the right choice and maybe it’s not too late for us . Is our heart , such an " Incurable Romantic " to keep on trying , inspite insurmountable obstacles ?

            I’m caught in a dilemma , between my logical mind and my heart . This changes in my life  are so radical , my logic tells me , Walk Away…… but my whimsical heart, who believes in "Knights in shining armors", says…….Go On, STAY………….let love fill your life . I wonder , who will win in this battle ? 

            I have placed my life , in a long distance love affair…..insane me…Now I should laugh at myself ! I’m now in the same situation as that girl I saw , long ago….and it;s  quite strange for me , difficult and unbearable at times …..In short , it’s so unnatural…! Specially for me , I love to touch and show affection , and give and do sweet-nothings. I want to share things , and …………………..That is why my whole being , is in  total rebellion and topsy-turvy….should I  , or should I not , go on with this madness ?

            This time ,in my life , I am in control of my destiny , my happiness ……..I have stayed away , for so long from commitments , only to find myself , in the hardest love commitment to sustain . Maybe, I should be hit by lightning , to wake me up and make sense of this situation , I’ve blindly placed myself in , because of …..love .! The funny , part is that , I know it’s tearing me up inside and yet , I always ,take a pause to reason out within me , the why’s and do’s of the senario….it’s not like me , at all….Here I am trying to understand , long distance affairs, reading about it, just to have some balance of thought…….when all I have to do is ………..walk away and end it all for sanity’s sake . It’s not for me , I know that , I’ll never place myself again in such a complicated state of entanglement .

             For those whose can bear it and surpass the loneliness and  emotional angst , both of you are made to be together . I wouldn’t recommend this , to my closest friends………but I would to people I dislike……Light bulb….Just a thought…!

          

            

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